Have you ever said to your child, “You can’t have dessert unless you finish your dinner”? Or maybe something similar along those lines? There’s a name for that particular strategy: The Premack Principle. The Premack Principle states that high probability behaviors can be used to reinforce low probability behaviors. What does this mean? It means […]
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The Power of Talking-it-Through
My daughter is 3 now. Which means we’re handling a whole host of new scenarios and challenges… and the term ‘threenager’ often floats though my head. But really, she’s just continuing to become her own person, discovering herself and her personality, experimenting with things she likes, doesn’t like, and trying very hard to be more […]
A Little Parable for Mothers
(I found this parable, typed on a worn, yellowed paper, in my Grandmother’s home, when we were cleaning after moving her to assisted living. She passed away in July, 2015.) The young mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is the way long?” she asked. And her guide said: “Yes. And the way […]
Reinforcement vs. Punishment: Defined
Learn the definitions of reinforcement and punishment.
Instead of Threats and Counting…
The other night was a test of patience. Our little one, who is 2.5, was practically bouncing off the walls and could not hold still even for a moment to allow us to help her get ready for bed. She tends to act very hyper when she’s especially tired, so it’s not like this was […]
Give Your Energy to the Behavior You Want to See
A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and BCBA, often gave what I considered a fantastic speech during trainings we used to do together. He would ask our audience during which scenario more energy was being displayed. Then he would dramatically shout something like the following: “What are […]
Instead of “Say you’re sorry”
Forcing a child to say sorry is not a good way to encourage authenticity.
Ask yourself, “What’s the GOOD?”
Does your child ever engage in challenging behavior and you are at your wits end trying to solve it? It can be so frustrating trying to figure out what is causing the yelling, screaming, throwing, and so on while at the same time trying so hard to stop it from happening. What do you do? […]
How to Teach Your Child to be a Bully (in 5 easy steps)
Step 1: Take something away from your child that she worked hard for and cares about. Step 2: Taunt her and tell her what you did, and make it seem as though she will never get back what had been hers. Step 3: Laugh at her when she becomes so upset and distraught she begins […]
Who benefits from ‘time-out?’
You. You (the parent/caregiver) benefit from sending a child to time out. You’re the only one who does. Let’s face it, it gives you a reprieve from whatever ‘bad’ behavior they were engaging in… a chance to clean up the huge mess made with the toilet paper and shaving cream. But don’t think it’s actually […]