Many parents carry a quiet, persistent question in their hearts: Is our home truly a place where my child feels emotionally safe, respected, and deeply connected? Even loving, intentional caregivers can feel unsure at times. Parenting often brings moments of doubt, overwhelm, and the desire to “do better” without always knowing what that looks like […]
respectful parenting
The Toy Ransom Box
(Or teaching your children their belongings don’t actually belong to them) I saw a random post in an email update from a blog I follow… a blog that’s supposed to be about house cleaning and management or stain removal or something… and it really caught my eye. It was on motivating your children to clean […]
What to Do When Your Child Hits
(Excerpt from the upcoming mini book by The Gentle Parenting Institute) One of the hardest moments in parenting is when your child hits. Whether it’s you, a sibling, or another child, the instinct to react quickly—and often emotionally—is strong. The toughest part is remembering not to take it personally. Behavior is communication. When we take […]
Our Family Bed
If you had asked me 6 years ago my thoughts on children sleeping in their parents’ bed I would have scoffed and said something like, “my children will be sleeping in their own beds…” And then I would have made or thought some remark about enmeshed families. I’m pretty ashamed of that now. And I’m […]
How We Avoid Punishing Our Children
I often see comments in gentle parenting boards asking, “If you don’t punish, what do you do?” Or, “There are definitely circumstances where punishments are necessary, right?” As a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst), I frequently have to hold back from defining the term ‘punishment’ because I know that’s not exactly what folks mean. I […]
Please don’t spank your child.
Please don’t spank your child. “But if I don’t spank them, they will grow up to be entitled brats.” Everything you do as a parent will impact your children. Whether you spank or not does not have anything to do with your child growing up to feel entitled. It will, however, impact the way they […]
8 Helpful Phrases for Reconnecting with Your Child
My 3-year-old daughter stood up from the potty and slowly started peeling one square of toilet paper away from the roll. The baby was fussing in the other room and I knew he wanted to eat. Ohmygosh hurry up! I shouted in my mind. She was tired, and no one in the house had been […]
Behavior Charts…if you’re going to use them, here’s how:
Are you thinking about using a behavior chart for your child? Have you tried one already but it wasn’t successful? Let’s talk about this for a minute… When we say ‘behavior chart’ what we usually mean is a token reinforcement system. A token reinforcement system is used to increase behavior we like, behavior we want […]
Reinforcement vs. Punishment: Defined
Learn the definitions of reinforcement and punishment.
Give Your Energy to the Behavior You Want to See
A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and BCBA, often gave what I considered a fantastic speech during trainings we used to do together. He would ask our audience during which scenario more energy was being displayed. Then he would dramatically shout something like the following: “What are […]