(Or teaching your children their belongings don’t actually belong to them) I saw a random post in an email update from a blog I follow… a blog that’s supposed to be about house cleaning and management or stain removal or something… and it really caught my eye. It was on motivating your children to clean […]
respectful parenting
11 Empowering Women to Follow on Social Media (When You’re a New Mom)
Sometimes a memory pops up on my Facebook newsfeed from 10 years ago and I try to remember my life back then… What was I doing? What did I think about? What were my biggest worries? What was I looking forward to? Where did that shirt go? I wasn’t really a member of any groups […]
What to do When Your Child Hits
I think the toughest thing about a child hitting is trying to remember to not take the behavior of your child personally. Behavior is communication. When we take it personally, our mind gets clouded and we struggle to reframe, connect, breathe, and remain in control of our own behavior. The first thing to remember when […]
Our Family Bed
If you had asked me 6 years ago my thoughts on children sleeping in their parents’ bed I would have scoffed and said something like, “my children will be sleeping in their own beds…” And then I would have made or thought some remark about enmeshed families. I’m pretty ashamed of that now. And I’m […]
How We Avoid Punishing Our Children
I often see comments in gentle parenting boards asking, “If you don’t punish, what do you do?” Or, “There are definitely circumstances where punishments are necessary, right?” As a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst), I frequently have to hold back from defining the term ‘punishment’ because I know that’s not exactly what folks mean. I […]
Please don’t spank your child.
Please don’t spank your child. “But if I don’t spank them, they will grow up to be entitled brats.” Everything you do as a parent will impact your children. Whether you spank or not does not have anything to do with your child growing up to feel entitled. It will, however, impact the way they […]
8 Helpful Phrases for Reconnecting with Your Child
My 3-year-old daughter stood up from the potty and slowly started peeling one square of toilet paper away from the roll. The baby was fussing in the other room and I knew he wanted to eat. Ohmygosh hurry up! I shouted in my mind. She was tired, and no one in the house had been […]
Behavior Charts…if you’re going to use them, here’s how:
Are you thinking about using a behavior chart for your child? Have you tried one already but it wasn’t successful? Let’s talk about this for a minute… When we say ‘behavior chart’ what we usually mean is a token reinforcement system. A token reinforcement system is used to increase behavior we like, behavior we want […]
Reinforcement vs. Punishment: Defined
Learn the definitions of reinforcement and punishment.
Give Your Energy to the Behavior You Want to See
A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and BCBA, often gave what I considered a fantastic speech during trainings we used to do together. He would ask our audience during which scenario more energy was being displayed. Then he would dramatically shout something like the following: “What are […]