I often see comments in gentle parenting boards asking, “If you don’t punish, what do you do?” Or, “There are definitely circumstances where punishments are necessary, right?” As a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst), I frequently have to hold back from defining the term ‘punishment’ because I know that’s not exactly what folks mean. I… Read More How We Avoid Punishing Our Children
Please don’t spank your child. “But if I don’t spank them, they will grow up to be entitled brats.” Everything you do as a parent will impact your children. Whether you spank or not does not have anything to do with your child growing up to feel entitled. It will, however, impact the way they… Read More Please don’t spank your child.
My 3-year-old daughter stood up from the potty and slowly started peeling one square of toilet paper away from the roll. The baby was fussing in the other room and I knew he wanted to eat. Ohmygosh hurry up! I shouted in my mind. She was tired, and no one in the house had been… Read More Connection is KEY (also…free printable!)
Are you thinking about using a behavior chart for your child? Have you tried one already but it wasn’t successful? Let’s talk about this for a minute… When we say ‘behavior chart’ what we usually mean is a token reinforcement system. A token reinforcement system is used to increase behavior we like, behavior we want… Read More Behavior Charts…if you’re going to use them, here’s how:
Learn the definitions of reinforcement and punishment.… Read More Reinforcement vs. Punishment: Defined
A friend of mine, who also happens to be a Marriage and Family Counselor and BCBA, often gave what I considered a fantastic speech during trainings we used to do together. He would ask our audience during which scenario more energy was being displayed. Then he would dramatically shout something like the following: “What are… Read More Give Your Energy to the Behavior You Want to See
Forcing a child to say sorry is not a good way to encourage authenticity.… Read More Instead of “Say you’re sorry”
I try very hard not to force manners on my daughter… I like to model them instead, by simply saying “thank you” or “sorry” or “please” to her and in front of her, at the appropriate times. She’s doing an awesome job at picking them up and has been saying them for some time now!… Read More “What’s the magic word?”